“All alone, like Tarzan’s boy.” – Baltimora

For years I’ve tried to lure Baltimore Orioles into my backyard. Not Gunnar Henderson or Jackson Holliday in some childish fanboy plot to become best friends. No, the actual orange and black birds, Icterus Galbula. But for years, for whatever reason, these beauties have eluded my best laid schemes and plans.

I have a bright orange oriole feeder I bought probably six years ago designed to attract them (they are drawn to the color orange much like hummingbirds are drawn to the color red). I did once see a male oriole several years ago lurking by the orange feeder, which then led me to constantly day after day set out oranges and jelly only to be disappointed day after day. Last weekend I saw the old oriole feeder gathering dust in the shed with some of my other feeders, but I shut the door and just left it in there not wanting to go to the trouble of being disappointed again. On Monday however, I was at one of my favorite local stores – Wild Birds Unlimited, buying seed for, you know, the birds that actually appreciate me and like visiting my backyard. Props to you cardinals and blue jays and finches and chickadees and tits and woodpeckers and the like! Anyway, one of the young workers who was politely chatting me up said “you know, people are seeing a lot of orioles around here this spring.” I nodded and smiled politely while thinking, “other people, not me, bucko.”

Now for you non-birders, orioles typically spend our North American winter months lying on the Central and South American beaches, surfing the cool ocean breezes, and discussing the latest disappointing Baltimore Orioles season. I’m just guessing. They begin their journey back north into the U.S. just in time for baseball spring training and begin showing up in Arkansas in mid-April. Some stay a few days to refuel before heading further north, and some just stay. Many will spend the summer months in Arkansas where it is considered a suitable breeding ground and a high ranking place amongst orioles to raise an oriole family (I’m guessing again) before departing back south in the later part of the summer.

Anyway, when I got home Monday evening after work I thought again about what I heard at the store. And as the Big Man up above kindly does, he nudged me to go outside, get the old oriole feeder out of the shed, clean it off, and load it with some oriole-approved, non high fructose corn syrup jelly. (Sidebar: hey, don’t give the orioles high fructose corn syrup jelly, but by golly if you want slop a ton of the high fructose kind on your large PB&J (which ironically I did this afternoon), then go for it! This is where I would insert that wide eyes emoji if I cared to figure out how to do it). So I got it out of the shed, cleaned it off, put some jelly in the cup, hung it up, and then went to bed.

Like a kid on Christmas morning hoping for packs and packs of smokes… kidding… packs and packs of baseball cards, my first action Tuesday morning was to look out the window. Well, needless to say, five days later (as of this writing), there have been times I have seen five or six orioles out on the feeder at once – males, females, young males, young females, they’re all “ready for this jelly.”

They have been here everyday since Tuesday and I am constantly looking out the window like I’m Jimmy Stewart housed up in a wheelchair. I’m sitting by our rear window as I write this post watching and listening. Listening for their tunes and their now familiar “chatter.” Hey batter batter, swing batter! Let’s go boys. Let’s turn two! I’m fascinated and enjoy hearing their noises and watching their actions. They’ll hang upside down. They fight over food. They are very aware and scatter at the slightest movement by me on the backporch or even inside the house looking out moving by the window.

If Jesus had ever said, when you die, you will become a bird in the afterlife then I should think an oriole would be as good of a choice as any. With strikingly beautiful colors (particularly the males who are the ones blessed with the good looks in the bird world), powerful wingstrokes, and the bonus fact that they devour oranges, jelly, and sugar for several months during breeding season much like an eight year old me subsisting on a steady diet of powdered donuts and Lucky Charms cereal.

It’s not all-sugar all-the-time as the orioles’ diet does change to insects more during the summer months when raising their young, but for a few months every spring and fall, I could handle this diet of jelly and oranges. Of course jelly and oranges are not free and as of this writing I’ve cleared about two and half jars of jelly and three-four oranges. Much like a child or dependent, they don’t much care about your pocketbook and I am fairly certain that they will leave if the food supply chain runs out regardless of all that I have done for them the past four-five days.

But I guess thems the breaks when you’re running a well renowned neighborhood aviary. I’v already been back once to WBU since the oriole onslaught. It was a different young person this time who asked me “what brings you in today?” I showed her the container of jelly I was holding in my hands and we both just nodded.

Go birds!

“Hide-and-seek, we play along while rushing ‘cross the forest
Monkey business on a sunny afternoon”

The short-lived 80’s group Baltimora was a duo comprised of Maurizio Bassi, a music producer and musician from Italy, and Jimmy McShane, a native of Northern Ireland. The two decided to form an act fronted by McShane, a trained singer, dancer and actor. The story goes that McShane and Bassi chose the name Baltimora when, one evening together, McShane took a map of the United States, closed his eyes and happened to place his finger on Baltimore, changing the final letter to an ‘a’ to make the name more in keeping with the act’s Italian roots.

Baltimora had just three studio albums during their time active from 1984-1987. Released in 1985 today’s song charted inside the top 5 in many European countries and peaked at #13 in the U.S. Baltimora was widely regarded as a one-hit wonder with this song, which is often considered one of the most annoying songs and videos from the 80’s. Here is Baltimora and “Tarzan Boy”…

Thanks for stopping by!

sincerely,

the80s

Ps. 19:1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.