“Sorry Mate, Don’t Take Checks”

“Just loads of money” – Harry Enfield

“Loadsofmoney” Photo by Rex Features

Did you hear about the dwarf convict who recently escaped from prison?

He’s now a small medium at-large.

You’re welcome, and a happy Father’s Day weekend to all of the fathers, grandfathers, step-fathers, surrogate fathers, and future fathers!

In 1988, I was a junior in high school and my best Barry drove a late 70’s model green Chrysler LeBaron. It was a big, bold thing of beauty. The four door sedan (which if I recall correctly) had been given to him by his grandparents. It was a very clean, spacious car that had been kept in excellent condition with green exterior and green cloth interior. I have no idea how many miles it had on it at the time, but I vividly remember that it had an 8 track tape deck for all of those Skynyrd or Kansas 8 tracks! The 8 track was about obsolete in 1988, so Barry had a converter that allowed you to play cassette tapes instead, and blast the sounds of Motley Crue or Def Leppard from the pretty decent factory stereo system.

By looking at this ad, the green 1978 Chrysler LeBaron was apparently an off-road machine, and women liked a man with a green off-road piece of Chrysler engineering.

Somewhere along the line of our junior year in high school, Barry began bringing a joke book or two with him in the LeBaron. He usually had one in the backseat or in the glove box or maybe in the middle console. The jokes were typically harmless, sometimes tasteless jokes – perfect for two adolescent teens. The few that I do remember from so long ago came from a section in one of the books with jokes about lepers:

Why did they have to stop the leper hockey game? Because there was a face off in the corner.

Why did they stop the leper football game? Because there was a hand off at the fifty yard line.

So occasionally during our lunch hour drives from the Norman High School campus to Roy Rogers Restaurant or Pizza Hut on Lindsey Street, a crude, amateur joke-telling session would break out.

I called Barry a few weeks ago, because I’d been thinking about him. The reason: I stumbled upon and now subscribe to a “Daily Dad Jokes” podcast, and the jokes I hear remind me of those days. Leper jokes may not be in vogue anymore, but in their place are plenty of “dad jokes.” So just as Barry and I traded jokes over 35 years ago, I now occasionally walk up to my co-workers throughout the day, and drop one of these beauties:

What did 8 say to 3?

Where’s your other half?

or this one which is very apropos since I work at a bank…

“I was turned down for a loan recently at the Bank of Trigonometry, because I couldn’t find a guarantor to cosine on the agreement.”

I then receive what every good/bad dad joke receives – plenty of smiles, head shakes, eye rolls, and the obligatory “oh no, that was bad” remarks. I refuse to let “the haters” deter me though! I will carry on just as Barry did in spite of my numerous “that was terrible” comments which did not deter him back in 1988. Missing are the carefree lunch hours at Norman High School from our youth, and instead we are both fathers to grown daughters of our own (shoutout to Caroline and Taylor!). But the fading memories of hilarious lunches from years ago still linger.

The jokes must go on!

“Do up the house. Money makes the world go around. Money makes the world go around. All this scratchin’ is makin’ me rich!”

Speaking of ridiculous jokes, English comedian, actor, writer, and director Harry Enfield created a satirical character named “Loadsamoney” at the height of the Barry joke-book popularity back in 1988. The character was formed in reaction to the policies of the Thatcher government, and the novelty song became a UK sensation that led to a sold-out tour centered around today’s song that was actually a #4 hit on the UK charts. I knew nothing of the Thatcher government policies in 1988 (and frankly I didn’t care), so I really had no clue as to what Harry was hoping to accomplish with this song and video.

With “Lance” on lead guitar and scratching on the turntable, shut your mouth, and see if there is any way you can make it through the whole video. If you make it through, consider it a Father’s Day miracle and drop me a comment to let me know how you did it! Here is Harry Enfield and his annoying creation, “Loadsamoney (Doin’ Up the House).” Barry-approved.

What are the chances of a cow standing in field getting struck by lightening?

Medium rare!

Hey-oh! Have a great day, thanks for reading, and go tell a dad joke or two today.


the 80’s

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1 Response to “Sorry Mate, Don’t Take Checks”

  1. Steve Myers says:

    I cheated and put in a google search for money jokes and came up with this one….
    “What did one penny say to the other penny?”
    “Let’s get together and make some cents”

    I didn’t understand all the words in the video I guess because it’s British English, but interesting that they made reference to Eric B. I don’t know much about rap and hip hop music but I like that song “Don’t sweat the technique.”

    Happy Father’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

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