“You’ll see the Son appear to light the way.” – Nelson

I’m a sucker for any father-son story. It can be real or made up. It might be your own personal story you’ve poured out on your blog about an absent father that you never really knew, or maybe it was a demanding father who settled for nothing short of perfection when all you needed to know was that he loved you and was proud of you. I love a good fictional story that might revolve around a strained relationship on a basketball court like Jake and Jesus Shuttlesworth or maybe it’s a complex story of a child raised by his uncle in a galaxy far, far away. Maybe it’s just a cartoon father and son lion story told over an Elton John soundtrack, or two brothers and a Presbyterian minister father silently fly-fishing in a Montana river. The various father-son plot lines are as old as time and I think it demonstrates the pull, the power of a story, and ultimately the uniqueness and complexity that surrounds every father-son relationship good or bad.

I took a slight liberty with the quoted lyrics at the top of the post since Nelsons’ lyrics actually read “sun,” not “son,” but it seemed more fitting to this post, because the greatest father-son story in history centers around a 33 year old Jewish son who was brutally abused and crucified on a wooden cross some 2000+ years ago, but still represents the most unique and only perfect father-son relationship ever. And yes, I did just hit you with two Jesuses in one post. You’re welcome.

But I’m also going to hit you with some Oklahoma Sooners basketball. When Tommy Tubbs, son of the late, great Coach Billy Tubbs, called me the week before last and invited me to represent my dad and my family at a special weekend of events honoring his dad at the University of Oklahoma, I couldn’t have accepted any quicker. I was honored to stand in for my dad who passed away in August of 2021 (approximately nine months after Coach Tubbs) for such a special occasion as this. Old players, coaches, and supporters of the University of Oklahoma during Coach Tubbs tenure from 1980-1994 returned as well to show their love and appreciation for Coach Tubbs and the Tubbs family.

I wrote many of my thoughts and feelings and stories back in November of 2020 shortly after Coach Tubbs passed away. His son Tommy spent two seasons playing for his dad at OU including my dad’s first season as an assistant coach in 1984-85. It was a year that OU made the elite eight and was one shot short of advancing to the Final Four losing to Memphis State in Dallas that year. My dad went on to spend six dominant seasons as an assistant coach at OU for Coach Tubbs including the magical run to the national championship game in 1988. During those six years, I was a teenager and I was in awe of it all. And mostly because it was as close as I was ever going to get to hanging around a rock n’ roll band and production. Instead of David, Eddie, Alex, and Michael, I had Wayman, Boo, Choo, T-Mac, DJ, Dave, Stacey, Mookie, Amazing Grace, Harvey, and Skeeter. Longtime legendary writer Barry Trammel posted a recent article about those days and is worth a few minutes of your time if you want to understand what OU basketball was like particularly in the mid to late 80’s and early 90’s.

Fast forward to 2024 and it’s been just over three years since Coach Tubbs’ passing, and the University was preparing to honor Coach Tubbs and the Tubbs family for their time in Norman and ultimately as the winningest coach in Oklahoma Sooner basketball history. Commemorative posters were made, “Billyball” t-shirts were sold, special Converse shoes were custom made and given to the family, and a Tubbs banner was unfurled and now hangs forever in the southeast corner of the Lloyd Noble Center.

It was a wonderful event that allowed me to bask in and walk alongside my dad’s spirit for a few hours reminiscing about all the times he had walked these same halls and onto this very court at the Lloyd Noble Center. I got “all the feels,” my eyes welled with tears on more than one occasion that weekend, and I got to do it all alongside another man missing and thinking and honoring his dad. Grab a Kleenex, and check out this special video that was made and aired on the jumbotron at halftime of the basketball game. A love letter. A love letter about fathers and sons…

“Whoa, after the rain washes away the tears and all the pain
Only after the rain can you live again”

By all accounts the band Nelson, which consisted of blonde-headed twin brothers Gunnar and Matthew Nelson had a good relationship with a supportive famous father, but they didn’t fall into money upon Ricky’s passing when he suddenly perished in a plane crash on New Year’s eve, 1985.

According to Matthew, when their dad died, he was $4 million in debt from years of a dysfunctional marriage, over-spending, and a costly divorce. The brothers were just 18 at the time and spent many of their younger years paying that debt back. I found this quote from an article just within the past few years: “I found out about the accident (plane crash) on the radio,” says Matthew, as his brother sits beside him noticeably tearing up. This interview would have been some 35 years or more since the plane crash and Gunnar is “noticeably tearing up” according to the interviewer. Fathers and sons still feeling the emotions of it all. That, along with the fact that they both found out through the media, made the brothers bitter towards the media going forward.

“Don’t be afraid to lose what was never meant to be.”

Unfortunately Ricky wasn’t around to see his sons storm the rock world in 1990 with a double platinum (how fitting) album and a #1 single “(Can’t Live Without) Your Love and Affection.” The Nelsons are the only family to have number one hits in three successive generations beginning with grandparents, Ozzie and Harriet (“And Then Some” in 1935). Ricky Nelson had his first #1 hit in 1958 with the single “Poor Little Fool.” He married the boys’ mother, actress Kristin Nelson (sister of actor Mark Harmon), in 1963, but by the brothers own account, was not a supportive mother discouraging their musical ambitions.

Today’s video actually begins with a stereotypical poor father-son relationship as was commonly portrayed in the 80’s and early 90’s, but with the magical help of a Native American spiritual guide and also the brothers Nelson, our teenage protagonist is encouraged and resolved once he awakens from his dream… or was it a dream? Released in 1990 (but feeling very much like an 80’s song), and peaking at #6 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100, it is a good reminder and my personal favorite Nelson song – “After the Rain.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=afkTOe-u_8k%3Fsi%3DY0tLlG4YM8GSWii-

Thanks for reading, and remember that brighter days are ahead.

sincerely,

the80s