“I’m cryin’ for me.” – Toby Keith

“The greater my wisdom, the greater my grief. To increase knowledge only increases sorrow.” – King Solomon; Ecclesiastes 1:18

“From loss comes sorrow. From sorrow comes words, and here they come” – me

I have had the privilege of calling three women “mom” at one point or another throughout my life. A biological mom, obviously, who is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and of whom I’ve written about numerous times before on this site. The other two “moms” each left their earthly bodies recently within 18 days of each other. One, whom I have called my “second mom” since I became best friends with her middle son, Barry, back in 1984 in Norman, Oklahoma, and the other I’ve had pleasure of being my mother-in-law since marrying one of her daughters in 1999. 

My second mom had beaten down cancer numerous times through the years much like her beloved OU Sooners football and basketball teams of the 70’s and 80’s did to their opponents. She passed at the age of 81, but Cindy Blanton was a fierce competitor, a lifelong Sooner, an educator, a coach, and of course a devoted mother and grandmother. She readily accepted me into the family in 1984 and soon thereafter I began referring to myself as her “#1 son.” I felt like those times when she was at odds with one or multiple sons allowed me to remind her that that was why I was the #1 son. She drove Barry and I to ball practices and games. She allowed me to stay over and stay up late watching all kinds of ridiculous movies back in high school. Years later when I was out of college and broke, she allowed me to stay at her house for months for free until I could afford to move out. We spent many an evening routinely watching a lot of football and basketball on tv. 

My wife and I were fortunate enough to spend a few weekends and some time with her this past year catching up and reliving memories and stories. I will miss my second mom and her stories and tales of her family and friends, but I will keep her memory alive through my daily “Connections” game which she is responsible for my addiction to, and I’ll think about her every time I see a beautiful American Goldfinch fluttering around in my backyard (her favorite).  

I will always remember my mother-in-law, Doris Rycroft, as a kind and caring soul. A fancy dresser with an unmistakable drawl I never tired of every time she saw me and said “Hi Kyle,” but it sounded more like “Ha Cal.” She was in her early 60’s when I met her and I marveled at her perception, her insight, and her knowledge. She was an author, a friend, a prayer warrior, a mother, and a beautiful soul before passing at the age of 90. She had struggled her final few years particularly since the passing of her beloved husband and my father-in-law, Haskell, in 2020, but it makes me smile to think she has now rejoined his side in a place she so confidently knew she was headed to. One day I’ll see her again and I’ll be expecting that sweet smile and that familiar drawl when she welcomes me and says “Ha Cal.” 

And so it happens that this Saturday, February 10th is the day that both memorial services will be held at 10am and 2pm in Moore and just a few miles south in Norman, respectively. It will be a hard day, but a day to enjoy family and friends and to serve the memories of our loved ones well. How selfishly fortunate I am to have had each of them in my life.

But still… 

I’m going to miss those smiles
I’m going to miss you my moms

Ironically, funeral arrangements are also being made and projected to happen in mid-February for one of Oklahoma’s great country artists, Toby Keith, who passed away at the age of 62 after a battle with stomach cancer. 

I love this particular Keith song from 2009 which peaked at #6 on the Hot Country singles. It was written as a tribute to his friend, another Oklahoma legend – former OU Sooner basketball All American and jazz musician, Tulsa’s Wayman Tisdale. But the lyrics to this song are very apropos to any situation where you’ve lost a loved family member or friend. Owner of 42 top 10 hits and 32 #1 hits, give Toby a few minutes and listen to “Cryin’ For Me (Wayman’s Song),” and reflect (perhaps even a red solo cup toast may be appropriate) upon those loved ones you’ve lost whether they be moms, dads, brothers, sisters, or close friends.

R.I.P. moms and R.I.P. Toby. Thanks for reading.

sincerely,

the80’s

My mom and dad (a former OU Sooners basketball coach) many years ago with OU fan Toby Keith and his wife of 40 years, Tricia.